A Valentine's Day Letter... Just For You
I have always led my life with love. It’s kind of what makes me…me. From scooting my mat over during nap time when I saw a fellow classmate struggling to sleep to literally ending every encounter with those I cherish with a sincere, “I love you.” I have made it my lifelong mission to personify love with all I have.
It’s been a long road since 2020 and we’re not fully out of the woods yet. Because of such, it appears that what you, I, and the rest of this precious world need the most right now is to love and be loved. Depression and suicide are on a rise like never before. People are in excruciating pain with nowhere to place it and in an ever-growing world of self-centeredness, the importance of caring for each other is like a lost art.
When pondering what type of entry to create for Valentine’s Day I found myself returning to the same charge. Sure, I could present to you an array of on-trend outfits, gifts, and movie romcom recommendations and end it all there, but it appears that the reason for the season will suffice just fine.
So allow me to state 5 simple truths that I want you to carry with you not only on Valentine’s day but always.
YOU MATTER- This is by far one of the most underrated things to say to someone or even for someone to believe. About a year ago I had the hardest but most life-giving therapy session. In this session my therapist challenged me to say the things that I say to to others but have yet to hear someone say to me. Without hesitation, I stated what I truly believe about all of humanity and have said to almost everyone I encounter. “You matter. You mattered yesterday, you matter today , and you always will.” Immediately she said, “Has anyone ever said that to you…that you matter?” I was stunned. It hadn’t happened. Those two specific words have never been said to me. I didn’t speak. “Well,” she said placing her notepad and pen down. “I want you to know that you matter.” A flood of tears cascaded down my countenance. Everyone needs to know that they matter. People deserve to hear that truth spoken directly to their face. I had been extolling others with this self-made mantra for years and never fully new its power until it was turned on me. So now, more than ever, I wish to speak these words to you with the utmost sincerity and unequivocal truth. YOU MATTER.
IN FINDING 3 GOOD THINGS IN YOUR DAY YOU’LL SEE YOU HAD A GOOD DAY- We have have had that horrible day where it feels as if literally nothing went right. I promise you, should you choose to look a touch harder you’ll discover that there were at least 3 good things that occurred. Now these 3 things may have been small in comparison to the big picture of the day, but they happened nevertheless. By choosing to acknowledge 3 good things from every single day, we teach ourselves that happiness and gratitude are a choice.
YOU ARE THE OCCASION- You know I had to sneak in a little fashion tip. Unfortunately the last couple of years has taught us that life is far too short to be waiting on the next special occasion or societal permission to wear something we love. Now admittedly it has never been hard for me to wear something others would deem “over the top” to the grocery store, but hear me out. Wearing the items we love or that give us joy instantly boosts our moods and allows us to show the world exactly who we are. That bodycon in the closet is calling and it says you’ve been ready.
LAUGHTER REALLY IS THE BEST MEDICINE- I’m pretty sure LOL is used the most in text messages than anything else, but how many people actually do it? I’m not talking about the subtle chuckle or the sly snicker. I’m talking about the belly bursting, cry til it hurts, turn some heads kind of laugh. They don’t say laughter is the best medicine for nothing. No wonder when shows like “Schitt’s Creek” came out during the pandemic it was given rave reviews. People heal when they laugh and on top of that laughter is infectious. Next time, try to look at someone you know laughing and not end up laughing too.
YOU ARE RIGHT WHERE YOU NEED TO BE- Trust me, this one is hard to believe when all your chips are down and everything in life has gone wrong. I promise you I have been there, but please receive this next statement.
Setbacks are merely setups for comebacks.
Read that again and/or write it down and stick it on your bathroom mirror if you need to. Life is a never-ending cycle of hills and valleys, unavoidable and sure to come. Our job is to traverse the valleys just as confidently as we do the hills. I challenge you at the next low point in your life to look at how this “setback” can be handled in a way that can set you up for success in the near future. Ask yourself what this valley experience is trying to teach you and how you can be better equipped in the future. Then, take your new knowledge, apply it for the next time, and see how you come back better than ever! This works and I know because I tried it myself at the lowest valley of my life. Seeing any and every setback this way has changed my life for the better and I know it will do the same for yours.
From the bottom of my heart I love you. Whether I know you on a personal level or through this digital journey that you have so graciously decided to endeavor with me, I truly do love you simply because you are worthy of such. I don’t know If this Valentine’s Day will be particularly difficult for you or not, but I do know one thing. Life is better because you are in it and I am so happy you are here.
XOXO,
Shayla
