Oh Baby!
I have begun this particular entry more times than I can count. Finding the ability to articulate this time in my life seems almost futile to attempt, but nevertheless she persisted right? You all know by now how much I love marking memories, and reminding us all to revel in the presence of the present so when something as magnanimous as the gift of pregnancy occurred for me, I immediately logged off of all things social and secured myself safely in the sacred solitude of myself. Call it an instant maternal need to protect what I now knew was within me or simply shielding from social scenarios altogether, all I knew was that this moment was not one to simply post about.
This was miraculous.
This was God’s goodness.
This was…life.
“Do you remember
The 21st night in September?”
I knew I always loved that Earth, Wind and Fire song for a reason. On the 21st of September I was in Target grabbing a few items to make dinner when the notion of possibly being pregnant swirled through my mind. For a couple of weeks I had been experiencing incessant feelings of fatigue, and even after the best sleep I would still find myself laid out on the couch for hours. In addition to becoming “Shayla Sleeps a Lot” my cycle was late. As I grabbed a water bottle I knew that I needed to bite the bullet and take a pregnancy test.
Since the pandemic Lawrence and I have been had the privilege of working from home and so there are very few times when we are without one another. I knew If I were to take the test without him it would have to be right then… in Target.
Thankfully, no one was in the bathroom with me. Having such a personal moment in such a public setting was definitely not how I imagined my pregnancy journey beginning, but more and more I am learning that everything around you doesn’t have to be perfect to have a perfect moment in life. It wasn’t even 10 seconds before the word PREGNANT filled the screen of the test. My hand immediately cupped my mouth as tears cascaded down my cheeks. How far along am I? You mean to tell me I have been carrying life inside of me for…how far along am I? I have to tell Lawrence. How do I tell Lawrence?…Girl get out of the stall first! I swiftly put the pregnancy test in my purse and headed to the baby section.
The baby section of Target felt different this time. I’d been there before for gifts for my God children and the occasional baby shower, but this time it was like another portal of Target had been opened up to me. A onesie? A bib? A bear? Nothing seemed to jump out at me and frankly nothing seemed like the right item to show Lawrence how much he meant to me on this extra special day. Then, there they were, the sweetest pair of booties and the last pair available. It was meant to be. Booties and a daddy- to- be card in hand I rushed to get home before Lawrence. I told him to take a seat and placed the box and its precious contents before him. Lawrence has never been a guy to be big on gifts so whenever he receives anything he’s genuinely not expecting it. He never spoke, smiling softly as he read the card and held the booties. Those shoes looked so much smaller in his hands and in that very moment as I watched him read and clutch those booties, I saw the dream of the father of my children realized. Tears flooded my face as my eyes met his misty gaze. Still silent, he simply extended his long and loving arms towards me and I curled in his lap. Grateful is the only word I can use to sum up such a once in a lifetime moment.
Fast forward and I’m now 14 weeks into this whirlwind of a journey. I’m still tired every now and then and thankfully I haven’t had any vomiting, nausea, or unusual cravings. I have been blessed thus far and until May or whenever this little one decides to grace us with his or her presence, Lawrence and I will cherish these last months as a couple while preparing to welcome our new chapter as a family with open and anxious arms.
To all of you who may be new to me and La Vie SPG and to those who have been along for the ride for some time now, thanks in advance for the love and prayers. The Guy family is getting a little bit bigger.
